


Christmas Wishes

by Ralkana



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Reality, Christmas, Early Work, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Fluff, Post-Series, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-04-09
Updated: 2002-04-09
Packaged: 2017-10-29 04:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/315755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ralkana/pseuds/Ralkana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Voyager's first Christmas home. Will Chakotay and Kathryn's Christmas wishes be fulfilled?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer ~ I don't own them; Paramount does. If I owned them, I think they'd have been much, much happier.

 

Chakotay leaned against the doorjamb, watching Kathryn putter happily about the living room of their home. She adjusted the ornaments on the Christmas tree, straightened the holly above the window and shifted the furniture just slightly here and there. After a few moments, she sensed his scrutiny and looked up.

"What?"

He chuckled. "You! I don't think I've ever seen you this excited about any holiday. On Voyager, you hardly even mentioned Christmas. Why this sudden surge in activity? You even baked, Kathryn!"

She made her way over to him and enfolded herself in his arms. He wrapped them tightly around her, inhaling her scent, which today was mixed with pine and vanilla and cinnamon. He reveled in the feel of her, acknowledging -- as always -- the stunned happiness that came with the realization that this really was Kathryn Janeway, in his arms at last.

After a few moments, she turned around in his embrace, surveying the festive living room. She leaned her head back on his chest, looked up into his warm, dark eyes, and shrugged in response to his puzzled amusement. "I don't know, Chakotay. I guess... it's finally hit me: we're home for Christmas! We're home. I always tried not to think about Christmas on Voyager; when I was growing up, it was a time for family, and out there, it was just a reminder of how far I was from mine."

His arms tightened around her again, and she knew that he was feeling sorrow for her years of loneliness. She looked up into his eyes once more, noting with familiar wonder how much the man could say without words.

"I know that I didn't have to be alone. But I felt I did, and so I avoided Christmas. But now, I want to celebrate it with all of our family, with my mother, and my sister and her family, and with you. I want Christmas with you, Chakotay." He smiled at the last words, but she detected a hint of unease in his expression. "What's wrong, love?"

He shifted, and when he spoke, his voice rumbled through his chest and her back, leaving her with a pleasant tingling sensation.

"It's just... I've never really celebrated Christmas. I don't know how... don't even know if I should. It's a religious holiday, Kathryn."

Her lips parted slightly and her eyebrows lifted a little in surprise. Her neck was beginning to hurt from craning it up at him, and she released herself from his arms, taking his hand and leading him to the sofa. When she spoke, her voice was soft.

"I'm sorry, love; I didn't even realize the implications of that. I should have known you might be uncomfortable with it, but... yes, Christmas has its basis in religion, but it's so much more than that, at least for my family. Like I said, it's always been a time for family, to get together and enjoy each other's company and be thankful for love. In fact, the only really religious aspect of the day was going to church at midnight. We went as a family when I was a child, but I rebelled as soon as I was old enough to stay home. Phoebe soon followed suit."

He smiled at that, and she could tell that he'd relaxed some.

"Chakotay, if you don't want to celebrate Christmas, I'll understand, but -- " she glanced around the decorated room " -- Christmas Eve is a bit late to tell me. People will be getting here in a few hours."

He shook his head, leaning over to plant a kiss on her forehead. "No, Kathryn, it's fine. I have no problem spending time with our family, and believe me, I am more than thankful for everything that I have. I just wasn't sure what Christmas was all about for you, what you expected of me." He smiled. "I have a gift for you. Two actually, but you'll get the other one later." He slipped a small box out of his pocket and into her hands. "Merry Christmas, my Kathryn."

She returned his smile, looking like a little kid. "You didn't have to do this!" she protested, even as she ran her fingers over the shiny paper and smooth ribbon.

"I know. But I wanted to. I love to see you excited and happy like this. Go on, open it," he urged.

She shook her head. "I'll wait until later," she said virtuously.

"No. Now," he ordered, and she bubbled up into laughter, already tearing at it. She opened the small box and gasped. With a trembling hand she pulled out a small, hand carved replica of Voyager, dangling from a cranberry-red silk ribbon. It was faithful to every detail, even the scars of over a decade of hard travel. She tore her eyes away from it to look at him, and he could see that her eyes were full and bright.

"Oh, Chakotay," she whispered. "It's wonderful!"

He smiled, feeling her wonder thrill through him. "It's for your tree."

" _Our_ tree. It's absolutely perfect!"

Chakotay laughed. "It had better be! It's about my seventh try, I think. I went through them like shuttlecraft."

She laughed with him. "Uh oh. I've seen what my shuttles look like after you're finished with them. I'm not sure I could handle seeing the remains of six tiny Voyagers. What happened to them?"

He hesitated, glancing away with an embarrassed smile. "Well, actually... the nacelles kept snapping off."

Kathryn's eyes widened. "Oh. At least we didn't have to deal with that problem on the real Voyager. Pretty much everything else, but not that!" She looked at it again, cradling it in her palm. "God, Chakotay, you're amazing. It's beautiful. Thank you so much!"

She reverently placed the ornament back in the box and set it on the coffee table. Then, cradling his face in her hands, she murmured, "Thank you, love. Merry Christmas." With a small movement, she closed the distance between them.

Chakotay lost himself in the kiss, feeling her soft fingers stroke his skin and trace the lines of his tattoo. When she slipped her hands under his shirt and began to run her fingers up and down his spine, he shivered and reluctantly broke away.

"Don't start something you're not going to finish, Admiral," he warned. "You have guests arriving in a few hours, and there are still plenty of preparations to make."

She stood, pulling him up with her. "Oh, I think we have plenty of time, Captain," she purred, leading him toward the stairs. He shivered again at the sound of her voice.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, following her quite closely up the stairs.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Sometime later, Chakotay paused on the landing, halfway down the stairs. He looked out over his gaily decorated home with a smile. He could hear Kathryn humming carols in the kitchen as she worked on Christmas dinner. He'd have to get in there and help her soon before she could make too much of a mess of things.

He thought back over the six months since Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant. They'd found a wormhole that had deposited them in the AQ, three months beyond the borders of Federation space. As soon as they had hit the border, a security escort had shown up to take them to Deep Space Nine, but the whole crew had been adamant that their journey not end before their ship touched down on Earth. During that weeklong delay -- and during the long trip from DS9 to Earth -- he'd seen Kathryn watching him with an oddly hungry look in her eyes. Neither of them had said anything about it, but he had felt the tension building between them; it was a sweet tension, one he hadn't felt in quite a long time.

That last night, after Tom had the set the ship down in Golden Gate Park -- with a truly Tom Paris flourish, of course -- the crew had been having one last party in the mess hall. Chakotay had left the party early for his quarters, to meditate and pray and begin packing up all of the belongings he'd accumulated over more than a decade.

His door had chimed and he had called for entry without thinking. The door had slid open, and when nobody said anything for several moments, he had looked up, and his breath had caught in his throat.

Kathryn had been standing there, framed in the light of the corridor. She had been wearing a simple blue dress with no combadge, and his heart had begun to race at the implication. She'd taken one step in when he'd looked up, and then she'd stopped.

In a shaky voice that had sounded more vulnerable than he'd ever heard it before, she had murmured, "Am I too late, Chakotay? Please tell me I'm not too late."

Before she'd even finished speaking, he'd leapt across the room, crushing her in his embrace.

"Never," he'd whispered. "Never too late, Kathryn. I promised forever, didn't I?" He'd kissed her then. A good, strong passionate kiss, one that still weakened his knees when he thought about it. When he'd finally pulled away, he'd buried his face in her hair and said softly, "I love you, Kathryn. Gods, how I love you." Then he'd frozen, suddenly afraid. He hadn't meant to say it, hadn't meant to push her so soon, and he had been afraid of her reaction.

She'd closed her eyes and said in a clear, strong voice, "And I love you, Chakotay." Then she'd opened her beautiful blue eyes, which were brimming with unshed tears, and she'd added in a tone of wonder, "I can say it now! I can finally tell you!" And she'd collapsed against him, sobbing.

Unsure of what to do and only knowing that he couldn't bear to see her cry, he had kissed her again. It had stopped her crying, but it had started something else, something much different but definitely preferable...

After a few hours, they'd managed to make their way back to the still-in-progress party. Both had been wearing civilian clothes, and they'd entered hand-in-hand. Chakotay remembered that the crew had seemed more ecstatic when they'd seen their command team finally together than they had when Voyager had reached Earth at long last.

After that, it had been pretty standard, really. Debriefings had occurred, though they'd taken much longer than any debriefings Chakotay had been involved in before -- not surprising, given that Voyager's "mission" had been nearly eleven years long. Field commissions and rank changes had been honored, and every officer on board had been given a promotion of at least one rank. Plenty of the crewmen had been made officers as well. Balls and parties and ceremonies had taken place, and then Starfleet had ordered everyone to take a three-month leave, with the option of extending the leave by a further three months.

So, three months after Voyager's return, with three to six months of nothingness ahead of them, Chakotay and Kathryn had gone househunting, separately. He'd found a house he liked in Arizona, and she'd found one in Indiana, not far from her childhood home. They had bought them both, but his had never even had the opportunity to be furnished because two weeks later, she'd asked him if he'd like to move into hers. His had gone back on the market, eagerly snatched up by someone desperate to live in the house recently owned by the famous Captain Chakotay, whether or not the captain had actually ever lived there. Her house had become their home.

Now, as he stared at the sparkling Christmas tree, he remembered thinking shortly after he'd moved in that if he hadn't been with Kathryn, the idleness would have killed him. With her, though, it was simply peaceful. They had sat in their home, enveloped in the silence, simply enjoying being together at long last. For hours she had relaxed in his arms, both of them knowing that the calm would continue until one of them broke it. There would be no interrupting combadges or klaxons.

One evening, she had turned in his arms to look him in the eye.

"Chakotay?"

He'd lazily raised an eyebrow in acknowledgement but had said nothing. When she spoke again, her hesitant tone had captured his attention and generated concern.

"You know... I have a ‘fleet physical tomorrow..."

"I know, love. I have one too. What's wrong, Kathryn?"

"What... what would you think... what would you say if I told you I was considering... not having the Doctor update my booster?"

Chakotay's concern had melted into a brilliant smile, and he'd playfully said, "Well, that depends."

"On what?"

"On what _you_ would say if I told you I might be considering the same thing."

She had returned his smile happily, but it had suddenly been replaced by a frown.

"It might not work -- " she began in a soft voice.

"Shh," he'd responded, placing his fingers over her lips. "If it works, we'll be grateful. If it doesn't, well... then we'll think of other options later. Let's not dwell on it now and let it worry us."

And that was the last time they'd spoken of it. Now, nearing the end of their three month leave, he wondered if next year's Christmas would involve lullabies, or if his Kathryn would be on a ship in deep space, far from him.

He felt a pang at that thought but pushed it away, hoping for the former situation. They hadn't discussed the future much, except for deciding that they would both extend their leave for the further three months.

In his mind's eye a picture formed. Children, rustling under the Christmas tree, shaking the presents. Boys, girls, dark children, fair children, children that were a mixture of them both. He pushed that thought away too, but with a smile. _My Christmas wish..._

He heard the humming stop, replaced by a muffled curse. His smile widened, and he continued down the stairs into the kitchen, shaking his head.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Several hours later, Chakotay answered the front door, with Phoebe's five-month-old son comfortably asleep in his arms.

B'Elanna grinned at the picture. "Looks good on you, old man. Whose kid?"

"Phoebe's." Before he could say more, he was nearly bowled over as something came streaking through the door and attached itself to his legs. He looked down into a mass of unruly black hair, soft cranial ridges, and huge brown eyes. Adjusting William carefully in his arms, he knelt down to her level.

"Hey, there," he said softly. "How's my girl?"

Miral scrunched up her nose, and with the frankness of a three year old, said, "I'm not your girl, Uncle Chak! I'm Mommy's. And Daddy's."

"And don't you forget it," another voice drawled.

"Daddy!" Miral shrieked, launching herself at him.

"Shh," Tom warned. "Ralie, I haven't gone anywhere. You saw me two minutes ago. You have to keep your voice down, honey. You'll wake the babies."

Chakotay had stood and was staring at the infant in Tom's arms with a slight smile. She was slightly younger than the child he held in his own arms. She opened her eyes, and they were the same huge brown orbs that Miral had. She stared back at him silently.

"Too late," B'Elanna said wearily, looking somewhat stunned when the baby stayed quiet, continuing to gaze at Chakotay.

"You must be hypnotic," Tom said with a grin.

"Nope," he replied with a grin of his own, shaking his head but keeping his eyes on the baby. "Just irresistible to young women."

B'Elanna snorted, but he ignored her, captivated by her baby. He longed to hold her, but his hands were already full of William.

They let him gaze for a moment longer, until Miral said irritably, "Mommy, I'm cold."

Chakotay came back to them with a start. "I'm sorry. Come in. Kathryn's mom and Phoebe and the kids are already here, as you can tell," he said, gesturing to the baby he held. "Harry's brought a friend. I think she's more than just a casual date. She's a little starstruck, so go easy on her. Doc and Seven should be here soon."

"Is Tuvok coming?" B'Elanna asked as they headed toward the noisy living room.

"He's on Vulcan. He may call later. Neelix is busy at his restaurant, but he said he might call too. Icheb's spending Christmas in San Francisco to be with his girlfriend, who's at the Academy." At their shocked looks, he laughed. "I know. I was amazed too. Fast worker, our Icheb."

Miral shrieked again when she saw Phoebe's twin daughters, Rebecca and Emma, who were about a year older than she was. The three girls saw each other often, and were already close friends. They rushed for the tree, diving at the presents, and Chakotay smiled at the partial realization of his earlier imaginings.

William stirred at the noise and began to fuss. Immediately, Phoebe whisked out of the kitchen, took him from Chakotay, and whisked back in to aid her sister. Everyone laughed at the comic look on Chakotay's face.

"Was it something I said?"

Tom promptly deposited his younger daughter in Chakotay's now empty arms. "Here, big guy. Do your duty and watch your goddaughter for a little while."

"With pleasure," he said, staring into the tiny face.

He heard Harry's friend Claire ask in a whisper what the baby's name was. Striding proudly to the couch, he sat next to her so she could get a better look. "This," he said grandly, "Is Taya Kathryn Paris. Isn't she beautiful? She's my goddaughter," he added, rather unnecessarily. Claire smiled, both at the baby and his obvious affection for her.

"And mine," said a firm voice from the kitchen doorway. "You weren't planning on keeping her from me all evening, were you, Captain?" Kathryn asked, arching an eyebrow that would have made Tuvok proud.

"Of course not, Admiral," he replied smoothly, standing and crossing to her. "I'm not looking for a slow and painful death." They fussed over their goddaughter -- who bore it stoically -- while the others laughed. When he was sure the former command team was occupied with his daughter, Tom sat next to Harry and nudged him in the ribs.

"A baby looks good on them, doesn't it?"

Harry jumped and stared at Tom. "You think?"

"I don't know, Har. I'm just -- "

"Causing trouble, as always," B'Elanna said, sitting down next to Claire. "Knock it off, Flyboy. I'm B'Elanna," she said by way of introduction.

"Sorry," Harry said sheepishly. "Tom Paris, B'Elanna Torres, this is Claire. Lieutenant Claire Wilson," he finished proudly, and Claire rolled her eyes as the other two laughed.

"Just Claire is fine," she said with a grin.

Tom and B'Elanna smiled hello, and Harry continued, "You've already met Taya. This," he said as Miral launched herself at him from across the room, "Is _my_ goddaughter, Miral Kim Paris. Oof," he finished as she landed in his lap.

"Uncle Harry!"

"Inside voice, sweetie," he warned. "I was wondering if you were ever going to come and give me a hug, Princess."

She pushed herself away from him, drawing herself up, placing her hands on her hips, and giving him a glare that clearly showed who her role models had been.

"I'm not a princess!"

"Oh?" Harry asked, with a sidelong glance at B'Elanna.

"No! I'm a warrior," she said with a snarl.

Even without looking at his friend, Harry could sense Tom's amusement. B'Elanna shook her head, but she was also smiling. "Of course you are, Miral. Go play -- nicely -- with Rebecca and Emma."

As Miral shot back to the twins, Claire asked B'Elanna a question, and the two fell into an easy conversation. Tom leaned in until he was right next to Harry's ear.

"So who is this girl, Harry, and why haven't I heard about her before? Why have you brought her to meet the family?"

"She's fantastic, Tom. She's doing doctoral work at the Academy in advanced warp algorithms. We met in the quad, at the little coffee stand. We've been seeing each other for a couple of months now, and she's so wonderful! Her family doesn't celebrate Christmas, so I invited her to share it with us. Don't embarrass me, Tom, please," he added, and he knew instantly that it had been the wrong thing to say. Tom's friendly smile turned wicked.

"Hey, Claire," he called, loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear. "Has Harry ever told you about the first time he met Admiral Janeway?"

As everyone except for Claire laughed, Harry groaned and closed his eyes but kept his mouth shut. As Tom's stories went, this one was fairly innocuous, but Harry knew if he said anything, it could get much, much worse.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

A little while later, Claire sat at the huge dinner table, observing everyone as the platters of food made their way around. Everyone was talking and joking as they heaped food onto their plates, and she was surprised at how comfortable she felt. These were real people, she'd realized. Nice people. Not the invincible, larger-than-life heroes the media made of them. She'd known that about Harry, of course, but she'd still been apprehensive about meeting everyone else. She needn't have worried.

Claire realized that when Harry had talked to her about them, calling them his family, he hadn't been exaggerating. She'd met his parents, and while he got along well with them, he didn't seem to click with them the way he did with this group. They were much more than just the former senior staff of a starship. They knew everything about each other, and they didn't hesitate to use that information as ammunition, just like a real family.

She had expected to feel ignored or left out, but everyone did their best to make sure she was a part of everything. She didn't get some of their jokes, but everything was pretty much explained anyway, for her benefit as well as that of Kathryn's mother and sister. She'd even held Taya for a while, before the bittersweet look of longing on Chakotay's face had prompted her to gladly give the baby back to him. She'd doubted he was even aware of his expression.

She'd wondered if the huge amount of teasing Harry seemed to be enduring had something to do with her presence, and she'd asked B'Elanna as much. The half-Klingon had seemed highly amused at the question, shaking her head with a huge grin.

"Nope. This is pretty much normal. Harry's the baby among us, always has been, always will be. That means he gets to put up with the most harassment. He's gotten quite good at giving his own though. Don't feel too sorry for him."

And she'd been right. Harry could hold his own, she thought proudly. She looked across the table at the two newest additions to the group, who had arrived shortly before the Janeway women had served dinner. Seven of Nine was the "family member" that Claire had been most nervous about meeting. She hadn't been really sure of what to expect. Harry had assured her that Seven was more human than Borg, but even the pronouncement of that dreaded enemy's name had caused Claire to shudder.

She'd been pleasantly surprised to find that Harry had been right. Seven wasn't exactly effusive, but she was cordial. And beautiful. She'd known Harry used to have a crush on Seven, and now she knew why. That made her nervous, and she'd watched Harry carefully as he interacted with Seven, but he was nothing more than friendly and brotherly with the tall, blonde woman, and Claire's fears were set to rest.

The doctor was hilarious. He had a dry, caustic wit that seemed to be the only thing that could get to Tom Paris, and it was hard for Claire to remember that he was a hologram. She looked at Seven and the Doctor and tried to figure out if there was anything between them. She thought there might be, but nobody said anything about it.

There were a couple of things, Claire noticed, that were never joked about. Nearly everything was fair play, but no one joked about Seven's humanity or the fact that the Doctor was a hologram. Though there was plenty of ribbing about Tom and B'Elanna's long and rocky courtship, nobody mentioned anything between Seven and the Doctor, and nobody joked about the relationship between Janeway and Chakotay, though she thought she saw many furtive glances and smiles cast in the direction of the affectionate couple. Claire wondered why and decided she'd have to pester Harry for details later.

She was pulled out of her private musings by a huge group laugh. She glanced quickly around and her gaze fell on Chakotay, who was sitting to her right. Judging by the look on the commander's -- captain's, she reminded herself; everyone kept falling back into using the old ranks, and she found herself doing it too. Judging by the look on the captain's face, someone had zinged him good.

 _Damn, and I missed it!_ Claire thought irritably. She'd wanted to know if there was anything that could break the quiet man's calm demeanor, and if so, what it was. _Something else to ask Harry about later..._

She noticed Chakotay's plate held no turkey, and she remembered that Tom had carved the bird. She said quietly, "Forgive me if I'm prying, Captain, but are you a vegetarian? I'm only asking because I'm rather interested in the idea myself."

He smiled at her, raising an eyebrow. "You're very observant. And please, call me Chakotay. No ranks here. Yes, I am. My people don't believe in ending the life of another being if it isn't necessary. I generally don't eat meat, unless I have to."

Their conversation had drawn the attention of the others. Emma piped up from down the table, "Is leola root a kind of meat, Uncle Chak? 'Cause I heard you tell Auntie Kath that you would never eat it again, not even for Mr. Neelix."

Everyone laughed and shuddered simultaneously at the mention of the dreaded DQ foodstuff. Conversation turned fondly to Neelix, his cooking, his restaurant, and their shock that it was wildly successful.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

With a sigh, Kathryn placed the last of the dishes in the recycler. She felt strong arms encircle her, and she relaxed into them happily. With an impish grin she knew he couldn't see, she said in a low, nervous voice, "Mmm, that's nice, Harry. But we should be careful. Chakotay and Claire are in the other room."

Chakotay snorted in her ear. "Right, woman. If you came on to Harry, he'd pass out in shock. And then he'd run fast and far, because he knows I'd be after his ass." She laughed with him, turning in his arms and snuggling against him. She raised her head, seeking a kiss, and he gave it gladly.

Phoebe came in, juggling William and a cup of eggnog. "Hey, go upstairs and do that. You'll scare the kids. And I don't mean the twins, Miral, or the babies."

Kathryn laughed and took William, receiving a grateful look from Phoebe. "How's my nephew doing?" she asked in a soft, playful voice, so utterly unlike Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.

"Exhausted," Phoebe said, sounding fairly weary herself. "I don't think he's gonna make it to Christmas Day, but he's sure trying. He's starting to get fussy."

Sure enough, he began to cry. Kathryn bounced him a little bit, walking him up and down the kitchen, but it was all to no avail.

"Let me try," Chakotay asked softly, and Kathryn gratefully handed him over. Chakotay lifted the infant to his shoulder and murmured some words in his native language, gently stroking the small back. William quieted almost immediately as his mother and his aunt looked on in awe.

"What did you tell him?" Phoebe asked, amazed.

He flashed both women a quick grin, still stroking the baby's back. "To beware of petite, auburn-haired aunts who know their way around a compression phaser rifle."

Phoebe laughed in surprise, and Kathryn smacked him on the arm, careful not to disturb the baby. "Seriously," Phoebe insisted. "What did you say?"

He shrugged. "It's just a prayer for calm that came back to me. I remember endlessly repeating it when I helped watch the tribe's children, years ago. I figured it was worth a shot. I'll take him upstairs and put him down," he offered, already heading for the kitchen stairs. They watched him go.

"That man is amazing, Katie," Phoebe told her sister.

Kathryn snorted. "I've known him for a decade, and I'm still coming to that conclusion."

They remained in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Phoebe watched Kathryn, who seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, with a little half-smile on her face. Finally, she ventured, "Katie..."

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to go to church with us?"

Kathryn snapped out of her reverie with a start. "You're going?! You and I used to do anything to get out of it!"

Phoebe sighed and shrugged. "I know, but... well, it's tradition again. Mom... Mom was so lost when you disappeared, Katie. I went that Christmas to keep her company, and I found that it was... comforting. I was grieving too, and... it helped me deal with things. I don't go often, especially alone, but Mom and I go sometimes. It's nice..."

Kathryn looked uncomfortable. "I don't know, Phoebe. I just... I'm not really sure of anything right now..."

"Except for Chakotay."

She grinned. "Except for that, you're right. But church? I just don't know. Maybe later... but I won't promise anything..."

"It's okay. Actually, I figured you wouldn't, but I thought I'd ask. The main reason I was asking was to see if you would mind keeping an eye on the kids. Jason normally does, but well... I'm so sorry he's not here, Katie. You have no idea how much he wanted to be with the family for your first Christmas home. But Betazed doesn't celebrate Christmas, and when he accepted the invitation to chair this conference a year ago, we had no idea -- "

"It's all right, Phoebe. Honestly. There will be plenty of Christmases for your husband to celebrate with us. And of course I'll watch my nieces and nephew. You don't even have to ask! I may not be able to handle church, but I can definitely watch your beautiful children for a few hours."

Chakotay came back down, slinging an arm around Kathryn's shoulders and leading the two women into the living room. Miral, Rebecca, and Emma were -- for once -- sitting quietly, enjoying the rare opportunity to stay up late with the grown-ups. They'd been informed in no uncertain terms that they would not be allowed to open their gifts until the morning, so they knew that the only reward for their good behavior was being treated like an adult. Of course, for them, this was almost as much of a reward as the shiny parcels that awaited them under the tree. The adults were draped all over the furniture, relaxing and talking quietly. With a sudden cry, Kathryn jumped up and went to the drawer in the sideboard, removing the gift Chakotay had given her earlier.

She passed it around, enjoying everyone's enthusiastic response to it. She watched Chakotay, sharing his quiet pride as his family complimented his skill and artistry. They found the perfect spot on the tree for it and then returned to the group. She settled back against him, sighing in the contentment and joy of being home for this at last.

Someone mentioned Prixin, and they began trading holiday stories, from before and during Voyager. Claire, Gretchen, and Phoebe sat enthralled as the history of this family unfolded, and the hours before midnight slipped softly and peacefully away.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

A little while before midnight, Phoebe and B'Elanna had a quick whispered conference and decided that, since the girls had been so good, they could each open one gift. They were ecstatic, and -- unsurprisingly -- each went for the biggest gift with her name on it.

Shortly afterwards, the air was filled with their excited shrieks. They all shared -- and fought over -- their new possessions, at top volume, of course. The adults sat back, content to just watch them for the moment, waiting for them to tire out. Phoebe and Gretchen stole quietly away, heading for church; the former murmured a quiet apology to her sister for leaving her with such excited charges. Kathryn just smiled and told her not to worry.

After a particularly piercing shriek from Miral, Chakotay winced and leaned toward Kathryn, whispering, "Let's go for a walk."

She laughed in surprise. "Chakotay! It's freezing out there! It's probably snowing, not to mention the fact that it's the middle of the night!"

"So we'll dress warmly and take a light. It's a full moon; we probably won't need a light unless it's cloudy. Come on," he said, giving her his most winning grin. "Please... I'm a desert boy! I've never gone walking in the moonlit snow."

"Then you'll probably hate it."

"Not if you're with me. It will be incredibly romantic," he whispered, breathing warmly in her ear.

Kathryn shivered. "Stop that," she murmured, swatting his arm, and he chuckled. She did want to go with him, but she remembered that she was babysitting. "I'd love to go with you, but Phoebe asked me to watch the kids while she's at church."

His smile wavered slightly, but he covered his disappointment well. "Oh. All right. Another night then."

From Chakotay's other side, B'Elanna leaned over, directing her words at Kathryn. "Go take your walk," she said, laughing when they glared at her playfully for eavesdropping. "Please. I couldn't help but hear the old man begging. Take him, Kathryn. Let him freeze his butt off in the snow, and then he'll really appreciate your humongous fireplace. We'll watch the girls."

Kathryn looked uncertain. "I don't know, ‘Lanna."

The younger woman laughed again. "Kathryn, there are six adults here besides you two, and two of us actually have parenting experience. I think we can watch three girls for a little while. They're busy with their toys anyway, and later, they'll be too tired to cause that much trouble. Go on, the twins are comfortable with all of us. They'll be fine."

Kathryn smiled and nodded, and Chakotay shot B'Elanna a grateful look and a grin. She wondered what was up; he'd looked far happier than he should have been for a chance to take a midnight trudge through the snow.

The couple stopped in the hall and struggled into boots, gloves, hats, and parkas. It had been a mild winter, but it was still very cold outside. Chakotay strapped on a wrist beacon, but the moonlight that flooded through the door when they opened it reinforced his claim that they wouldn't need it.

They stepped out onto the porch, stopping for a moment to admire the vista. It was a beautiful night, crisp and clear, and they could see for kilometers across the flat land. There was a light dusting of snow on everything, and in the light of the moon, the landscape was lit up as if it was day.

"Well, Desert Boy, where do you want to go?"

He chuckled. "Shall we head for our bench?"

She eyed him speculatively. "Chakotay, we go to our bench almost every day. What is so important that you felt the need to drag me out there in the middle of the night? What's going on in that devious little mind of yours?"

He sighed impatiently. "I'm not dragging you anywhere. Look, if you don't want to be here, you can go back inside. I just thought you might like to take a walk with me." He took her hand -- clumsily, since they were both wearing heavy gloves. "Can't a guy just decide he wants to go on a romantic walk in the moonlight with the woman he loves?"

She snorted. "Not when it's freezing outside. Love, of course I want to be here, taking a walk with you. I just don't know what this is about. I know you, Mister, and you're up to something." Trying to reassure him that she wasn't there unwillingly, she led him around the back of the house, crunching through the snow.

He said nothing as they headed through the empty fields toward the back of their property. They made this walk often; he could probably find his way in his sleep, but navigating through the snow required a bit more concentration. She stopped pushing and just walked along beside him, knowing that he would tell her his thoughts when he was ready.

Suddenly he stopped and pulled him to her. His arms wrapped around her, not as easily as normal due to the bulky parkas, but completely enfolding her nonetheless. His kisses whispered over her forehead and cheeks, finally seeking out her lips. She sighed and pressed herself to him, opening her mouth slightly as he nibbled at her lower lip. His tongue darted in and found hers, and she delighted in the taste of him. He tasted spicy, like cinnamon from the eggnog and ginger from his tea, and something indefinable, something that was simply Chakotay. After a few moments, he pulled away, tucking her head into his chest and resting his chin on it.

"What was that for?" she asked in a muffled voice, speaking into his coat.

"Because I love you," he answered.

She smiled, "Well, I love you too."

They walked along for a little while longer before he hesitantly said, "Kathryn..."

 _Here it comes... finally._ "Yes, love?"

"I... I've decided to resign my commission." She said nothing, only raising an eyebrow, giving him time to prepare the explanation she knew would be forthcoming. "When I put on that uniform again all those years ago, I did it because I had to; don't misunderstand me... I'm not sorry that I did. After all, it brought me you. But in the beginning, I resented it. Over time -- not that much time, granted -- my allegiance evolved; I vowed to be loyal to you and our ship. That meant I was loyal to Starfleet, because you were a Starfleet captain who ran a Starfleet ship. But we're back now. You know that you have my everlasting devotion and love; I don't think I need to convince you of that."

She shook her head with a smile. They had now reached the large bench he'd built, where they loved to curl up together and watch the sunset or the stars. Neither sat; he wanted to finish speaking, and she knew it.

"I know that you truly believe in the ideals of Starfleet, and I would never do anything to try and get you to change your beliefs but, Kathryn, I can't do it. I can't be part of an organization that abandoned my home and my family when they most needed aid. That might not be how you see it, but it's the only way I can see it."

"Chakotay, your decision whether or not to remain in Starfleet has never had any bearing on how I think of you or how much I love you. I want you to be happy, in whatever you do. And you might be surprised by how I feel about the situation that led to the formation of the Maquis. We've never really talked about it... but that's a conversation for a warmer, more comfortable place."

He looked surprised as he chuckled. "I have a feeling the subject matter of that conversation would keep us plenty warm. Why haven't we ever talked about it?"

"You just answered your own question. I think we've been afraid to talk about it, afraid to hear what the other might have to say... but as I said, that's a conversation for a few days from now. In front of a roaring fireplace," she added, shivering and stepping closer to him. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her again, relieved that this conversation was going better than he had expected. He brushed the snow off the bench and sat, pulling her into his lap. "What will you do, love, after you resign?" she asked, curious.

"I've had offers from several universities to join their anthropology faculties."

"Chakotay! That's wonderful! Why didn't you tell me?"

His face lit up at her words; he was pleased that she was excited for him. "Well... I hadn't decided yet what I wanted to do. Now that I've decided, I've told you. I don't know which offer I'll accept yet, but I know it will be one here on Earth." His expression darkened slightly. "Kathryn... I love our home. Having roots again... a place that's ours, it means everything to me. It will be very difficult for me to kiss you goodbye and send you off on your missions, but I'll manage; we'll manage. I want you to know that I would never ask you to give up Starfleet for me. It's what you are, it makes you happy, and that's what I want for you," he said earnestly, but his eyes were sad at the thought of her going back into space and leaving him behind, though he tried to hide it.

"Chakotay, _you_ make me happy. Everything else is incidental. But you're right. Starfleet is very important to me, probably because it's all I've ever known. I can't imagine leaving ‘fleet," she said, and he looked away, unable to hold her gaze when he heard her words. She tilted his head up so that he had to look her in the eye. "But there is no way I'm leaving you here while I go off and command a deep space mission for months or even years at a time. I've had enough of deep space to last me a very, very long time, and no other command experience will ever compare to our years on Voyager. Our crew and the family we created, those things can never be duplicated, and I'm no longer willing to run a ship any other way. And then there's the small detail of finding a suitable first officer. You ruined me, Mister," she said, and his eyes widened. "I could never rely on another XO the way I learned to rely on you. You did so much for me, love, and I can never thank you enough. Our command relationship was unique -- "

"I hope so," he interrupted. "Or do you fall madly in love with all of your first officers?"

She chuckled. "Nope. Just those who start out as the dashingly handsome Maquis rebel I'm sent to capture, and even of those, only the ones who get flung halfway across the galaxy with me."

"Uh oh. There must be thousands of those. I think I should be worried. So if you don't plan to command a ship, what are you planning to do?"

"Well, I've heard rumors of the Admiralty and a position at Headquarters."

Chakotay snorted. "The great Captain Janeway, flying a desk?! Tell me it isn't so. You'd be miserable. You hate paperwork. And I should know, considering that you've always tried to shove all of it on me."

She glared at him, but her lips started to twitch, and she burst out laughing. "You know me so well! The person who shared that rumor with me expected me to see it as a huge reward, and it was all I could do not to run screaming in the other direction! But Owen had an interesting proposal when I spoke to him recently. He was hinting rather strongly about a place on the Academy faculty."

He looked shocked, but pleasantly so. "You? Shaping and molding the next generation of Starfleet's best and brightest?" he teased.

"Why not?" she retorted. "You did it, after all."

"And I was damn good at it," he said with a grin. "But you will be better," he added with certainty, and she smiled at his unshakable confidence in her. "Did he mention what you might be teaching?"

"Command classes, obviously, and some upperclass courses in quantum mechanics and astrophysics." She made a face. "He said something about a course in temporal mechanics -- "

"I don't think so. Definitely not." At her surprised look, he elaborated. "I'm not having you come home to me with a headache every single day!"

She laughed. "Don't worry. I told him in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't even step into the building where that awful class would be held. Let's see, what else... It seemed like he was trying to present a wide spectrum of courses for me to consider. He mentioned a class in ‘the dynamics of command relationships,' another on protocol -- stop that!" she ordered when he snorted again. Then her eyes lit up. "Oh! I have an idea! He was talking about a class on the species of the DQ! I don't have enough knowledge to teach it alone, but we could do it together! Oh Chakotay! Come teach it with me!"

"What?! Kathryn, I am _not_ joining the Academy faculty. I've done that already."

"You wouldn't have to! They take on guest lecturers occasionally! Come on!"

"What makes you think they'd want me? Especially after I resign. For the second time."

"Of course they'll want you! Who better to teach this class than our ship's unofficial anthropologist! And if they have a problem with it, I'll convince them!"

He chuckled. "Well, if anyone can convince them, you can, my love." She grinned all of a sudden, but it was a faraway grin. "What?"

"I was just imagining what it would be like. I'd get to sit and listen to you tell story after story, and you know how much I love that! It would be wonderful!"

"I thought the plan was for us to co-teach this class, woman! How would you pull your weight in _my_ classroom?"

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh, I'd take over when it came to discussing the technological, diplomatic, and governmental aspects of the species concerned. You'd be the one to talk about the sociocultural aspects. That's the stuff you love anyway! Will you do it?" she asked excitedly, and he chuckled at the animation in her voice. He loved it when his Kathryn found something new to be excited about.

"I'll tell you what. If you can convince them to let me co-teach it with you, and if it doesn't conflict with any of my courses wherever I decide to teach, I'll do it."

"Then you'd better start making up a lesson plan, Professor!" She shivered suddenly. "Shall we go back? They're probably starting to wonder if we got lost."

Chakotay held her on his lap, preventing her from standing. "Stay for just a moment longer. Would you like your other Christmas present now?"

She beamed. "Another present for me? But the ornament is so perfect! Shouldn't we go back so we can exchange gifts with the others?"

He stood, with her still in his arms, and said, "Not yet. This gift is private."

Kathryn grinned evilly as she looked around them. "A private gift? Here? In the snow? Chakotay! I knew you had a hidden motive for bringing us out here, but wouldn't that be just a little uncomfortable?"

He laughed, setting her down gently on the bench. "No, love, that particular gift comes later." He stripped off his gloves and shoved his hand in the pocket of his trousers, removing a tiny box, which he promptly handed to her. It was smaller than the parcel the ornament had been in.

She took it, heart pounding as her sense of intuition began to tingle. She quickly took off her own gloves and very slowly and carefully unwrapped it, gasping when she finally opened it. Inside the small, handmade wooden box nestled an elegant gold ring topped by a sparkling, heart-shaped diamond. She looked up in shock, only to find Chakotay kneeling before her in the snow.

"I love you, more than my life. You are my life. Will you marry me, Kathryn?"

Unable to process things properly, she said the first thing that came to mind. "Chakotay, get up out of the snow before you freeze."

He chuckled, knowing he'd surprised her greatly, a little relieved to discover that he wasn't completely predictable to her. He stroked her cheek with a trembling fingertip. "No. Not until you answer me. Marry me, Kathryn."

The shocked look vanished instantly, replaced by a beautiful, open smile. She slipped the ring on her finger, unsurprised to find that it fit perfectly.

"Yes. Oh yes, I will marry you, Chakotay!"

Relieved and shocked and terrified and ecstatic, Chakotay stood with a shout of joy. He swept her into his arms and spun around, nearly spilling them both into the snow. She laughed and clung to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his head down to hers. The first kiss was sweet and undemanding. The second was decidedly more passionate.

He groaned into her mouth and carefully set her down before he dropped her, sliding her along his body, never losing contact with her lips. She pressed herself as close to him as she could, and their bodies began to respond, moving against each other in a rhythm as old as the human race. Eventually, she reluctantly broke the kiss, needing to breathe. He let her but didn't release her, continuing to hold her close to his body.

"Are you sure you don't want to try out the snow?" she asked, panting slightly.

He grinned at her, assaulting her with his dimples. "Later... definitely have to try it later," he answered, also trying to regain his breath. "Wanna go back now? I want to share our joy with everyone!"

"Why go back? I'm nice and warm now," she said, and he snickered. He pocketed the little wooden box and slipped her gloves back on her, kissing each of her hands first. She laughed a little at his sentimentality, but he knew by the look in her eyes that it was appreciated. He put his own gloves on and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, aiming them both towards the house.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, each wrapped in their own delight. Then he said idly, "You know, I was thinking about taking you up in a shuttle and proposing to you during a warp core breach, but I figured, that's already been done." She was shaking against him, laughing helplessly at his characteristic dig at Tom Paris. "So, I opted for simplicity. Seems to have been the right choice. What kind of wedding would you like, my Kathryn?"

"One that happens soon," she said with conviction. When he stopped in order to peer at her face and gauge her sincerity, she said softly, "I don't have very good luck with long engagements, remember?"

He hugged her. "Nothing's going to happen to either one of us, my love. But if you want a short engagement, then we'll have a short engagement. When would you like for us to get married?"

"How ‘bout New Year's Day?" she asked, smiling winningly at him. He stopped again to stare at her, this time with a slight tinge of horror in his face.

"New Year's Day? You want to get married in a week? Kathryn, I think if you tell your mother and sister that you're planning on getting married in a week, they will first kill you, and then they will kill me, for allowing you to continue believing that idea."

She nodded grudgingly and, mindful of her concerns, he said, "How about Valentine's Day? Seven weeks? Is that soon enough for you, love? I know you're scared, Kathryn, and you want this to happen soon, but everything will be okay. This is an important occasion -- perhaps the most important -- and I don't want to rush things. I want things to be perfect. Can you wait seven weeks?"

Kathryn smiled, touched and reassured by his understanding. "Yes. Valentine's Day sounds wonderful, Chakotay."

"So, what kind of ceremony would you like?" he asked, and they continued on towards the house, sharing their plans and dreams.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

They stood again in the hallway, this time removing their snow gear, and listened to the quiet conversation drifting out of the living room. From the sound of things, the girls had either gone to sleep or killed each other. Kathryn removed her gloves and properly admired her ring for the first time, pretending not to notice the indulgent smile Chakotay cast at her.

"You know," she said eventually, "There's another reason I'm seriously considering an Academy posting."

"Oh?"

"Yes. It's your Christmas present," she said vaguely; he looked confused, and she struggled not to laugh. Placing her hand on his cheek, she said seriously, "It's for the best... the Doctor says I'd be unfit for command in a few months anyway." She almost regretted her teasing when she saw the fear that leapt into his eyes. His hand tightened around hers.

"Kathryn, what are you talking about? You're scaring me," he said worriedly.

"Well, love," she whispered in his ear, "It would be rather hard to command a starship while carrying a twin on each hip, don't you think?"

She walked into the living room without another word, leaving Chakotay gaping at her back. The others looked up and smiled as she entered, but nosy queries about the former command team's walk died in their throats when they saw the dumbstruck man behind her.

B'Elanna got up quickly, staring concernedly at her friend. "What's wrong with him?" she asked, looking back and forth between Chakotay's bloodless face and Kathryn's satisfied little half smile.

Chakotay's mouth opened and closed a few times, and his gulp was audible in the uneasy silence of the room. The only other sound was the loud crackling and popping of the fire in the hearth.

"Twins?!"

At his hoarse exclamation, the room erupted with gasps and shouts. Much as he had when she'd accepted his proposal, he ran to her, lifted her up, and whirled her around, laughing elatedly.

"Merry Christmas, Daddy," she whispered in his ear as their laughing family surrounded them to share in their joy.


End file.
